Three months and 18 days.It feels like it was only a week ago that I was landing at Narita Airport and feeling like my toes were dangling right above the ground while struggling desperately to hold on to the rope tethered to my head as it floated away from my body.
I stand here today, almost 4 months later, both feet on the ground, my head attached (they sell great duct tape here). And yet, I still feel like the dust is still settling, and that at any moment I could float away.
The things in my life that have kept me grounded, that have kept me sane, are here too. But in a foreign land they can be hard to find, recognize, and hold on to. The irony of ironies is that standing against this foreign backdrop, I am able to see myself - the good, the bad and the ugly - more clearly. And the very things that I need to ground me while I face this new reflection seem to be...absent.
It's weird. I'm not sad about the whole "loosing my footing" thing. I'm strangely empowered. It's like I've lost my keys, and plan to look everywhere for them. There will be no stone left unturned. I have to find them. Because once I do, then (and only then) can I move on to the next thing.
The next thing?
Well, me thinks I'd like to head to France to do some organic farming next spring. Then come fall, head to the UK to possibly study theater (and hopefully perform it). Then after that, New York? Chicago? Who knows. The world is big, and so is the God that I believe in. So, anything is possible.
But before any of that, I've got to find my keys.
3 comments:
I hear you Natasha! I feel like I've been looking for my keys for the past four years. I think it is very cool though how being in a foreign country shows us so much more of ourselves than we ever thought. Maybe it is actually a byproduct of travel in general.
But anyway, I can't wait to continue to follow what it is that you figure out! And I'm excited to hear how your performance went!
I've been thinking of you lately - what with all the ground-shaking that's been going on ol' Nippon. I hope you've not been affected. In the meantime, did you leave your keys in your shoes? Your other shoes?
I miss you Natasha!!!!!
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