(Sorry for not posting).
Tonight's my Birthday Eve. I'm turning... gulp...28. I can't believe it.
If someone had told me a year ago that I would be in Japan for my 28th birthday, I would have slapped them. Seriously. That's how I deal with unbelief, I get slappy. And yet, here I sit on a tatami floor, next to shoji screen walls in front of a computer that is sharing space with a bowl of goma salad and used chopsticks.
Today is not only significant because 28 years ago my mother was having contractions, but also because it marks the half-way point of my time here. Exactly 6 months and 11 days ago, a glassy-eyed Rothwell stepped off a plane at Narita Airport wondering what she'd done. 6 months and it feels like 6 days. Yes, I know I say that all the time, but it's true. Some days are more familiar than others, but on the whole it's a daily adventure and that brand of "newness" every single day causes time to fly by.
Being at the half-way point means all I can think about is what's next. (Clearly the Zen lifestyle hasn't quite caught on with me yet). Lately I've been exploring job opportunities in London. Now those that know me know that this plan can change depending on the time of day or what I eat for breakfast. However, I'm committed fully to exploring London as real possibility. Read: I'm far from making an actual, honest to goodness decision.
Blerg.
28 feels so damn old. I know it's young, I get that, but I can't help but feel unaccomplished and so far away from those things that I want (or at least those things I think I want). I haven't done the things I thought I would do by 28 and yet, I've done things I didn't know I could, would or wanted to do.
You see, this leap from one continent to another has opened up the world to me in away that no other leap could have. This new perspective has taken every plan that I had for myself [this is where God laughs] and turns them inside out and upside down. So when I sit down to think about what's next I'm at a loss. Which, in truth, is probably where I should be anyway. The problem is that this control freak wants to drive, hold the map and call the shots. This whole passenger thing takes some getting used to. And to be frank, It's way scary. But oddly enough I am having the time of my life.
Truly, I am.
On this the eve of the anniversary of my birth, I am so unbelievably thankful. Yes, thankful. I am blessed beyond measure to have the most incredible family and friends on the planet. A support system that humbles me, loves me unconditionally, cares for me and knows me - knows my heart. And that is something that, even thousands of miles away, is tangible.
I recently went on a trip to Kyoto and Osaka, a delightful birthday present from my overly
generous parents. I went with some of my closest friends here, they're truly fantastic and we went to some amazing temples and generally had a blast. But there was this moment (and there's always a moment) when I was so utterly overcome with the bigness of life, and the love I have for the people in my life. You'd think that moment would've happened at the Kinkaku-ji Temple (Golden Temple). Sure, the sheer beauty of it caused me to stop dead in my tracks and sigh a Matt Gottlieb-type sigh, but that wasn't the place.On the way home, I was standing outside of the porta-john on the train. There was a huge window there and as I waited, I looked outside and watched the scenery fly by at 250 kilometers per hour (don't ask me what a kilometer is, I'm from America). So I'm standing there watching Japan streak by and thinking about how incredible the trip was. Then suddenly, out of no where, it hits me: that's Japan I'm looking at. My heart began to swell and my eyes began to water because in that moment I felt so incredibly grateful for the people in my life that encouraged me and loved me to that exact moment. That feeling was so amazing it stayed with me even while I took a dump.
Thank you family and friends for 28 years of awesome.
You are truly the loves of my life.
I want to take you all out back and get you pregnant.
2 comments:
Love you back lots.
And I'd be your baby mama in a second.
Natasha, I meant to comment on this post last week - you are so hilarious :). I feel the exact same way regarding getting older, even though I'm still technically "young". I don't feel young at all - I feel more like I'm forty or fifty :).
That is so exciting about the possibility of thinking of going to London next :)! May I also suggest Italy, land of beyond-delicious food and gorgeous people in your thoughts of where to go next? I was lucky enough to visit there for a week and I fell madly in love with the country :). At the very least, make sure you get there for a visit!
And if you have the time, please keep posting - I love reading your blogs and hearing all about your Japanese experiences!
Post a Comment